Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts

Friday, August 27, 2010

Post date

How many weddings have you gone to? Most are boring as hell. Even worse? When you know you forked out a lot of cash and then POOF! A year later the couple is separated and headed toward DIVORCE. What do you do when you're about to attend someone's FOURTH wedding??

Ever contemplate post dating a cheque?? If you stay married one year it's fifty, if you pass three years, one hundred, five years two hundred and so on... The party, the flowers, the mediocre food, the bad music, the stilted conversations and cheesy photos. I could go on and on.

In this day and age, when money is the number one cause for divorce why do people piss away their best chance at a long lasting marriage?!? ELOPE DAMMIT!!!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

White, yellow, red, brown..

Canucks certainly know how to piss around. Lately I've revisited the "politically incorrect" hilarious site Stuff White People Like and other satirical blogs aimed at ethnic groups.

Stuff White People Like, created by Christian Lander and co-authored by Myles Valentin is a hilarious poke at the "typical white educated yuppie". With their list covering such topics as:

#58 Japan
"But it goes beyond just food, all white people either have/will/or wished they had taught English in Japan. It is a dream for them to go over seas and actually live in Japan. This helps them not only because it fills their need to travel, it will enable them to gain important leverage over other white people at Sushi restaurants where they can say “this place is pretty good, but living in Japan really spoiled me. I’ve had such a hard time finding a really authentic place."

#40 Apple Products
"When you ask white people about Mac’s they will say “oh, it’s so much better than Windows,” “it’s just easier to use,” “they are so cutting edge,” and so forth. What’s amazing is that white people NEED to meet people who use Windows to justify themselves spending an extra $500 for a pretty looking machine."

#15 Yoga
"Yoga is also an expensive activity. It gives white people the chance to showcase their $80 pants. The cost of four yoga classes is equal to the amount of money it would take to pay for uniforms and travel costs of an AAU Basketball team in the inner city. "

#2 Religions that their parents don't belong to
"opular choices include Buddhism, Hinduism, Kabbalah and, to a lesser extent, Scientology. A few even dip into Islam, but it’s much more rare since you have to give stuff up and actually go to Mosque.

Mostly they are into religion that fits really well into their homes or wardrobe and doesn’t require them to do very much."


Need a laugh? Check out the full list.

Does that sound like anyone you know?? I couldn't stop laughing because I fit into at least half of the selection, I'm certainly no organic/vegetarian, yoga lovin', non-tv watching, pot smokin junkie... but I do love my tea and Apple products! The most popular, and hilarious posts were #11 Asian Girls and of course #116 Black Music that Black People don't listen to anymore.


Before anyone gets really offended, there are other fun sites such as The Angry Black Woman, Ask a Korean!, Ask a Jew, Ask a Mexican (The Original conception), the Unapologetic Mexican, and the Angry Asian Man.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

For the birds

comics = movie
cheesy tv shows = movie
boardgames = movie
videogames = movie.

We've evolved. Next step. Reported on Variety/Gawker is the next wave of Hollywood fodder... the iphone game = movie.

Angry Birds (game maker Rovio), one of the best selling games on the iphone, soon to be a plush toy... is now in talks with studio moguls to spin the product into a full fledged movie. Now that really is crap-tastic. Get ready for a seizure inducing 3D animated ninety minute cracker.

Excellent.