Friday, August 27, 2010

Post date

How many weddings have you gone to? Most are boring as hell. Even worse? When you know you forked out a lot of cash and then POOF! A year later the couple is separated and headed toward DIVORCE. What do you do when you're about to attend someone's FOURTH wedding??

Ever contemplate post dating a cheque?? If you stay married one year it's fifty, if you pass three years, one hundred, five years two hundred and so on... The party, the flowers, the mediocre food, the bad music, the stilted conversations and cheesy photos. I could go on and on.

In this day and age, when money is the number one cause for divorce why do people piss away their best chance at a long lasting marriage?!? ELOPE DAMMIT!!!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

A Texan burial

Austin, Texas is holding a contest where four lucky winners will be chosen to watch then entire film 'BURIED' in a coffin. The "Buried with Buried: Rolling Roadshow of One" event sounds sort of lame unless you get you very own tombstone inscribed afterwards.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

White, yellow, red, brown..

Canucks certainly know how to piss around. Lately I've revisited the "politically incorrect" hilarious site Stuff White People Like and other satirical blogs aimed at ethnic groups.

Stuff White People Like, created by Christian Lander and co-authored by Myles Valentin is a hilarious poke at the "typical white educated yuppie". With their list covering such topics as:

#58 Japan
"But it goes beyond just food, all white people either have/will/or wished they had taught English in Japan. It is a dream for them to go over seas and actually live in Japan. This helps them not only because it fills their need to travel, it will enable them to gain important leverage over other white people at Sushi restaurants where they can say “this place is pretty good, but living in Japan really spoiled me. I’ve had such a hard time finding a really authentic place."

#40 Apple Products
"When you ask white people about Mac’s they will say “oh, it’s so much better than Windows,” “it’s just easier to use,” “they are so cutting edge,” and so forth. What’s amazing is that white people NEED to meet people who use Windows to justify themselves spending an extra $500 for a pretty looking machine."

#15 Yoga
"Yoga is also an expensive activity. It gives white people the chance to showcase their $80 pants. The cost of four yoga classes is equal to the amount of money it would take to pay for uniforms and travel costs of an AAU Basketball team in the inner city. "

#2 Religions that their parents don't belong to
"opular choices include Buddhism, Hinduism, Kabbalah and, to a lesser extent, Scientology. A few even dip into Islam, but it’s much more rare since you have to give stuff up and actually go to Mosque.

Mostly they are into religion that fits really well into their homes or wardrobe and doesn’t require them to do very much."

Need a laugh? Check out the full list.

Does that sound like anyone you know?? I couldn't stop laughing because I fit into at least half of the selection, I'm certainly no organic/vegetarian, yoga lovin', non-tv watching, pot smokin junkie... but I do love my tea and Apple products! The most popular, and hilarious posts were #11 Asian Girls and of course #116 Black Music that Black People don't listen to anymore.

Before anyone gets really offended, there are other fun sites such as The Angry Black Woman, Ask a Korean!, Ask a Jew, Ask a Mexican (The Original conception), the Unapologetic Mexican, and the Angry Asian Man.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

For the birds

comics = movie
cheesy tv shows = movie
boardgames = movie
videogames = movie.

We've evolved. Next step. Reported on Variety/Gawker is the next wave of Hollywood fodder... the iphone game = movie.

Angry Birds (game maker Rovio), one of the best selling games on the iphone, soon to be a plush toy... is now in talks with studio moguls to spin the product into a full fledged movie. Now that really is crap-tastic. Get ready for a seizure inducing 3D animated ninety minute cracker.


Monday, August 23, 2010


'Boy Meets Coil' The anonymous video "The Pitch" posted by screenwriter John August.

A funny, jaded and horrifyingly honest view of where Hollywood is going... watch here


That's something executives are no longer willing to do.

Ouija, Monopoly, Risk, Operation.. boring boring boring... what am I saying? It'll probably make money. You know it's downhill when there's a Monopoly movie 3.. or Clue the Sequel.

Sunday, August 22, 2010


The Cove is a must see. I've been to Seaworld once as a child in San Diego. I honestly found it boring and preferred going to the beach. The idea of a circus, lion tamer, dolphin tamer... as a child I didn't get it. I always wondered why the animal didn't just kill the trainer.

There was a similar joke when I visited a zoo where there was a raccoons in a cage... ten feet from me were a family of baby raccoon scrounging in the garbage. Ridiculous.

It does make you contemplate how any parent would choose to bring a child to Seaworld after seeing this documentary.

Trailer here

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Spiders on the wall

I love poking around to see what's around the corner. Scripts optioned, Comics bought, deals signed, as new fresh talent break through the glass ceiling and into the public radar.

Who, what, where and when?
There is so much promise... with David Fincher signing on to both 'Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' and '20,000 Leagues Under the Sea', or Alfonso Cuaron's next feature 'Gravity', there's a strange buzz in the air. Hype hype hype. It worked for Inception but fell flat for Scott Pilgrim.

What happened to Ang Lee's try at 'Life of Pi'?? It sounds like an impossible feat, but if anyone can pull off a difficult self contained drama... it's him.

Kids sometimes need a kick in the pants during summer months. Glued to their monitors, playing endless videogames or hopefully outdoors getting some exercise. Lately it's been reported that students perform poorly in school if they are given longer than a month off during summer. Surprised? Why should anybody be? Who gets that much time off anyhow??

Best way to inject some grey matter into the summer sluggish months is to read a book. I usually read the book first, so I can recommend a series without any reservations. It leaves the conversation open, did they like it? What did they find frustrating, confusing, interesting, smart, funny...?

I couldn't get through The Thief Lord and wasn't too hot on Inkheart... and guess what? None of the kids liked it either! There's certainly a tier level when it comes to young adult fiction. There's the campy popular drivel that satisfies your basic cravings (Twilight, City of Bones, Magyk etc. etc..), and then there are the rare and heart wrenching, novels that catapult a teenager into the wide array of adult fiction (Bartimeaus Trilogy, The Book Thief, Lord of the Rings, The Chysalids, Sabriel, Watership Down, The Ousiders).

It's all about careful selection. Ask the kid what they like, what they watch, and ease them in slowly. Some take an instant liking to books of all sorts, some see reading as "uncool, or nerdy" and never crack open a book. Sometimes manga/comics are a better fit.

Manga (It's all strange and foreign to some... but sometimes that's the appeal)
Fullmetal Alchemist, Naruto, Bleach, Hana Kimi, Vampire Knight, 20th Century Boys

Comics (well manga means comics but I refer to 'manga' for Asian books)
Scott Pilgrim, Y the last man, Persepolis, Tin Tin, Watchmen (not for me), Spiderman etc.. etc..

It's a wonderful world that no one should ever miss.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Foyle's War was a hit, but so far the reviews have not exactly been warm for BBC's new comedy show 'Vexed'. (clip here) Surprising since they have a very talented Toby Stephens and Lucy Punch. There's also Showtime's excellent original series 'The Big C' starring Laura Linney.

Well that show sounds a lot better than what's up and coming on the big screen. Sick of superheroes? So am I. Sadly... that's not all you're going to be sick of.

During comic con there was a huge marketing campaign for two films that sounded relatively the same. I'm talking about Skyline and Battle: Los Angeles. Two huge special effects driven Alien invasion films that had ads plastered all over buildings, t-shirts and flyers. Unfortunately those two films mark the first wave of an already overly saturated market (Cowboys and Aliens, Splice, Terminator 4). Battle for La, The Darkest Hour, Dark Skies, Battleship, Among Us, and Pacific Rim are also coming our way.

I'm tired of it all already and hoping that Spielberg won't delay 'Lincoln' any longer.. would be a nice change of pace.

On the bright side, lately I've been hooked to an onslaught of quality foreign television, books, movies and food. Rather than watch another disappointing film for $15 I've opted to turn back and see what I've missed.

Let the Right One In
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Talk to Her

Bodyguards and Assassins
I Saw the Devil
Red Cliff
Nobody Knows (2004)
5 centimetres per Second

The Big C
The Wire
Burn Notice

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


Investing time to read can provide an endless source of entertainment that can be quite intoxicating. Especially during the summer months at a cottage (if you're lucky). It's a relaxing break from the constant barrage of super hero adaptations and vampire obsession that has taken a suffocating hold in the media and hollywood.

On the plate? Dante's Club. Not sure if it'll be good.. but after the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo ... I'm lovin' crime stories.

If you do need to see visuals and reading is not your thing, why not try something new? I'm a big fan of television lately, many of the best writers have slowly migrated to the small screen as of late. I even watched a number of Australian, Korean and Japanese shows. Some of it is absolute crap, but like trying a new kind of food you've never had, it requires a certain amount of bravery and a developed palette.

The list is rather haphazard, since they mix it all in which doesn't make it easy for people who a picky about genres. After all, I know a number of people who just hate old television or film. Is it the pacing? Who knows.

Here's a list of random stuff depending on genre...

Family drama
Twin Peaks (one of the best!) Mad men, Queer as Folk, Six Feet Under...

Pride and Prejudice, Brideshead Revisited, Upstairs Downstairs, Forsyte Saga, Horatio Hornblower

Lost in Austen
For all those Jane Austen fans who wish they were in Lizzie's shoes. Mr. Darcy wet? Check. Naughty Mr. Wickham? Check? Pain in the ass heroine? Check. Highly original? Double Check.

Foyle's War, Bodies, Cracker, Prime Suspect, The Good Wife, Sopranos, Inspector Morse, The Wire, Breaking Bad, Mentalist, Band of Brothers

What happened to this show? What a great premise, with Damien Lewis (Band of Brothers) starring as a brilliant LAPD detective Charlie Crews is exonerated after serving twelve years in jail for a crime he never committed.

X-Files (first few seasons), Twilight Zone, Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, Star Trek Next Generation (after season 2), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, True Blood

Joss Whedon's fantastic voyage filled with humour and action. It's a crime that it didn't last longer than one season. What was everyone thinking?? Why, why, WHY did they end this show? Although there was a movie (Serenity), it was only a sad reminder of what could've been if the show continued.

Next? Korean & Japanese cinema... bad English subtitles can kill you though.